If...

If you feel you are not being treated with the respect you deserve, does it mean that...

1) You overestimate the amount of respect you deserve; or

2) Your behavior is inconsistent with your self-perception, leading others to underestimate the amount of respect you deserve (see also "1"); or

3) You are in an environment which simply does not appreciate your qualities (due to either rationally or irrationally preferring other qualities), such that while you do deserve some respect, you are simply not going to get it around here?

In other words, should one interpret signals from the environment as useful feedback about oneself, or as useful information about the environment?? Not to mention, what to do with such feedback once received and interpreted...

Spot the differences

As I may or may not previously have reported in this space, I recently gained a second nationality! Below I provide for your enjoyment a (slightly doctored) image of each of my passports. If I had PricklePoints to offer, there'd be a prize to the one who noted the most discrepancies...

As it is, I'm forced to clue you in on the one that irks me most: the Dutch government has simply ignored my second middle name (fka my maiden name) in all their official registries. This happened when we first moved here and it's very difficult to reverse: I basically have to file for a name change. Which will, naturally, make my passport invalid. The basic principle here is, either you keep your maiden name, or you don't. Apparently the concept that you keep it and add your husband's name is, well, foreign. Whereas in the US, as I recall, when I got married they simply asked, "What do you want your name to be afterwards?" And so I told them.

I thought of you

Say,

Aren't you the one who picks up worms off the sidewalk, when it rains, and puts them back on the grass so they don't get smooshed?

This morning, walking to work, I passed a worm on the sidewalk. A little pinkish one. I didn't pick it up because, eww! -- but I did think of you.

Seeking a deeper connection

Scott Adams, you've done it again.

Two momentous events

Yesterday was a good day, despite the occurrence of one Very Unpleasant Thing.

• During our team meeting, the big boss paid a compliment to the team (including me) that had written one of the proposals under discussion. This may not sound very Momentous to you but, in the Dutch culture, compliments are reserved for very special occasions like weddings, funerals, being named head of state for countries of 10 million or more inhabitants, and the like.

• Upon returning home from dinner at some friends' house (which was very nice, but doesn't quite qualify as momentous), I discovered that one of my dear kitties had been locked up in my bedroom all day and had expressed her displeasure / desperation all over the comforter. On the plus side, I learned that down comforters are machine washable. But still and all: ick.

Needless to say I was up late doing laundry. But I still really appreciated that compliment.

Still and all

I really enjoy the self-conscious (intentional) use of ungrammatical phrases, particularly if they belong to the general category of "hick" usage. I only hope that my reader is also aware of the intentionality of such usage. Although s/he is free to take another interpretation.

Another favorite expression of mine is, "Lord willin' and the crick don't rise."

Shoes news

Oh by the way, I did manage to find some shoes yesterday. It was only the third shoe store I went to (fourth if you count the one I rejected without even going in). Not bad for an hour's work! I was actually quite proud of myself for knowing where to find some decent shoe stores, as these are located in extremely random places sprinkled throughout the general vicinity of my house and not all conveniently co-located in a "mall" or similarly logical but terribly American concept.

Octobre

It really truly is October now (also in France, in case you're wondering about the spelling). When we were down there last weekend the leaves in Jardin de Luxembourg were turning brown and falling off. "Surprising!" we boasted, since the leaves in Amsterdam were all still green and clinging. But yesterday in the Vondelpark I noticed gold -- full green trees all haloed in yellow on the topside, actually, quite dramatic. I photographed them with my mobile -- guess the photo will stay there forever in all its minimalist resolution. Today I wanted to photograph the trees outside our house, with a few leaves turning yellow and framed by the golden October afternoon... but I couldn't find the camera. Turns out Mr. Cat took it with him to St. Pete's.

On the subject of weather, it was decidedly chilly today. It was also the Amsterdam Marathon and I think chilly is good for running (last year it was a bit warmer but drizzly). I think chilly is good for running and also especially good for getting cramps once you stop running. Although, come to think of it, running a marathon is probably good for that anyway.

I had a bagel with hummus and aubergine (yurpean for eggplant) for lunch from the Jewish bagel people by Stadionplein. They're open on Sunday and I had to park the car away down there because we live on the opposite side of a road (Stadionweg) from church and said road was closed due to the marathon. I walked along the marathon in the afternoon for a few blocks but then turned left along some water, found a bench, and watched the fowl. Large flock of white (mostly) geese and a few mallards, occasional flock of seagulls or pigeons or whatever have you.

It is late and I shall go to bed.

At work on a Saturday

But frankly, I don't mind that much:

Mr. Cat is on a jet plane to St. Petersburg, so I wouldn't be hanging out with him anyway.

The weather is gradually developing from cloudy to sunny, so hopefully by the time I am out of here, it will be nice -- but I'm not missing too much at the moment.

The work itself is going fine, and in fact it seems I like it. I am combining doing some analysis with writing about the outcome and conclusions of such. I am good at that.

However, I am still planning to get out of here in time to visit the Shoe Shop before it closes. So better get back to it.

Stress

levels are fluctuating. My to-do list keeps changing in length. My perception of being in control (vs. out of control or under (someone else's) control) keeps changing.

Can't always do whatever I want. Can't always keep everybody happy all the time. Can't always think of everything.

Just put your head down, get to work, do what needs to be done, don't worry.

Froggy

OK, so I did spend the weekend in Paris with friends, and we did drink a little wine, and we did stay up late (Friday night: sitting around the table and drinking some herbal tea; Saturday night: wandering the streets of Paris due to Nuits Blanches, not finding any bars considered suitable by me (primary rejection criteria: too crowded, too smoky), and finally drinking some herbal tea back at our friends' table)... but the reason my voice sounds like this is because I have a cold -- not because of my exciting weekend!

Why doesn't anybody believe me?

Oh by the way

In case you're wondering about the minutiae of my life, which I can only assume to be the case since you are taking the trouble to read this blog (or otherwise, please navigate away: now!), I called his secretary again to say I would try back next week, and he called me on Monday! Now that's what I call responsive, two minutes notwithstanding.

So now you can stop wondering.

Fine, thanks

Let me tell you how I really feel. I really feel fine, thanks.

Paris was nice. It was, for example, not raining there. Whereas it was raining in Amsterdam when we landed (although it was not raining for the walks from terminal to car, car to house, thank goodness). We had also our meetings by Place Vendôme, which I otherwise probably couldn't have told you where it is, but it is very beautiful indeed as well as the Ritz and the Ministère de Justice being located there.

The meetings went well. I am tired. I still have to pack for the weekend. But fortunately: it is supposed to not be raining in Paris, again, this weekend.

Centre Pompidou is having a special Yves Klein exhibition. Inventor of International Klein Blue, a very lovely color. In addition I remembered wanting to visit the new museum Quai Branly. Fortunately it seems to be quite centrally located next to Tour Eiffel. Whereas my original plan was Louvre and/or Orangerie, plus some shopping. So we'll see.

Busy day tomorrow. TGIF!

Paris

Today I will fly to Paris in the afternoon. I will sleep there in a nice hotel. I will have meetings all day tomorrow. Then I will fly home.

Friday I will go to Paris again. This time by train (taking 4 hours rather than one, but depositing us in the center of Paris rather than out in booneyville CdG land). In addition I will be traveling with my husband rather than colleagues. We will spend the weekend with friends recently having moved from Amsterdam to Paris. We will likely take part in the Nuit Blanche taking place over there this weekend. And do a little shopping, visit a museum, dine. Looking forward to it!

But first surviving the days from now to Friday...